8 Red Flags You Might Be Dating Someone Who’s Not All That Emotionally Solid

Dating can be a wild ride, especially when your partner’s emotions are more rollercoaster than chill road trip. If you’ve got a hunch that you’re sharing your heart with someone who’s emotionally on the fritz, here’s the lowdown:

1. Can’t Decide on Anything: Ever feel like you’re dating the human version of a ping-pong match? If your beau’s always flip-flopping on what they want—from what to eat to where your relationship is headed—that’s a classic sign of emotional wobble.
2. Temperature’s Always Changing: If your partner’s all cuddly one day and cold the next, without much rhyme or reason, that’s a huge hint they’re not riding a stable emotional wave.
3. Mood Swings Galore: Do you feel like you’re dating five people instead of one because their mood is constantly changing? That unpredictability could be a sign they’re not on steady emotional ground.
4. Random Arguments: Imagine chilling out, enjoying your meal, and boom! You’re suddenly in the middle of World War III because you glanced at someone walking by. Yep, picking fights for no reason can be a sign of emotional instability.
5. Big Decisions on a Whim: If your partner makes major life choices in the blink of an eye—like quitting a job after a bad day or ending things and then backpedaling—this impulsivity could point to deeper emotional issues.
6. Promises, What Promises?: They say they’ll do one thing, then do another, or bail on you last minute. Not cool, and definitely a sign that their emotional GPS is not quite on track.
7. Criticism = World Ending: Does your partner treat every little critique like a personal attack? If they can’t take feedback without a meltdown, their emotional skin might be a tad too thin.
8. Cheating Chronicles: If they can’t stay faithful, it could be because they love drama or they’re just not that into you. Either way, cheating often comes from a place of emotional messiness.

Real Talk Time

So what’s the deal with emotional instability? Could be job stress, old baggage, or self-esteem that’s seen better days. If your significant other is trying to get a handle on their emotions and you see real effort, sticking around might be okay. But if you’re getting hurt because they won’t face their emotional tornadoes, you might need to think about what’s best for you. Your happiness matters, and sometimes that means saying “peace out” to the drama.

Peggy Bolcoa

Hello, I’m Peggy Bolcoa — LMFT, Ph.D., and I love my job. I have been counseling couples and families for 23 years. I have discovered that Emotionally Focused Therapy is the most effective method for healing impaired relationships. This method shows how oblivious partners are to each other’s real emotions or intentions. I make great efforts to help couples understand their attachment styles and turn them into secure and pleasant relationships. I’m pleased to share my experience and personal comments on the content published on the following website. I do my best to explain complicated scientific concepts in simple language.