Best Ways to Find a Mistress and Keep It a Secret
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Having a mistress is not a new pop-up trend, as side-woman dating has been popular (and judged) for centuries. Yet, that has never stopped men from looking for a little something on the side. Where to find a mistress, short-term or long-term, and, more importantly, how to keep your wife or girlfriend in the dark? To answer this question and do everything properly, you will need to be prepared in advance.
Cheating ain’t right, no doubt about it. You risk losing your partner, your family, and your whole setup. But still, men want to dominant women, often without even realizing why. Learn everything about mistress vs girlfriend notions below.
How to find a woman who would become your perfect short-term or long-term mistress, and most importantly – how to make your wife or girlfriend not know about it? Check the guide.
Why to Have a Mistress? What Do Men Look For in a Mistress?
Cheating is not good, for sure, as you betray your partner and family if you have a child or children. But it has never stopped people from looking for a mistress because such a decision has many reasons that people may not even suspect.
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They Want Adrenalin
Always being on guard to hide your little secret from the closest is a huge portion of adrenalin. Sometimes, men get bored with the steady and not-changing life they have at home. That’s why they decide to find a mistress to get out of the boredom they might feel.
They Want to Feel Young
Many people get a bit depressed when they realize that they will never be as powerful and energized as when they were young. These distressing thoughts are enhanced when we are surrounded by people of our youth-fading age. That happens in a marriage, too – you see your partner getting old not only physically but mentally too, which can make you think of “diversifying” your surroundings.
That’s why men choose to find a younger mistress: she has a different mindset as she is from a different generation and has a fresh look and attitude to life.
They Want to Escape a Sad Marriage
The reality is that not all marriages are successful. Unfortunately, often, people understand what trap they got into very late: children, common property, or business can be a huge barrier between you and life free from constant fights, emotional abuse, toxic attitudes, and so on. What is a mistress in a relationship like this? She is an escape, a silver lining of happiness.
They Reflect Their Wife’s Actions
“My wife lets me have a mistress because she has an affair partner herself.” Such a situation can also happen when both partners are done with each other, but they don’t want to go through the bureaucracy of the divorce process and keep living their lives separately.
They Want to Have Joy with No Strings Attached
There are reasons to have a side woman that are not as deep as we described above. Some men just want to have fun with multiple women and take no responsibility for relationships with them. That’s why they decide to have mistresses because a mistress is usually not as demanding as a wife.
Disclaimer:
It’s worth saying that some men have a lot of mistresses or one-night dates because they have compulsive sexual behavior that needs therapy. You can’t judge such a person because they need medical help in this matter.
How to Find a Real Mistress?
“How to get a mistress?” is the first dilemma that a man ready for an affair might face. The space must promise the confidentiality of your relationship if you don’t want your wife to know about your second life. Here are three ways to meet a mistress.
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Online Dating Sites
Dating websites are the easiest and most favorite method among users who want to try mistress dating and don’t know how to have a mistress. These sources often have good security measures that will enable you to hide your personality from other Internet users.
Also, dating websites ensure convenience and choice: you can browse through the catalogs of potential mistresses and choose the one that aligns with your needs. You don’t have to go anywhere but online resources with mistresses.
Work
Often, work becomes a matchmaking place for men and their mistresses. It’s a convenient method because your love affair will always be with you (at least during working hours). Men often find mistresses in their colleagues because they feel the connection of worldviews – you both are interested in one thing, your job project. In addition, “a lot of work” is a good excuse to stay longer at the job to hide among office tables with your mistress.
A Hobby Place
Do you like swimming at the local swimming pool? Or maybe you value art and attend art galleries very often? If your hobby takes place outside your home, it can be a good place to find a mistress, too. Moreover, this mistress may become your soulmate as you share one passion – a hobby you do both.
Where NOT to look for a mistress? There are two worst ways to find a mistress girl. The first one is in your friend’s circle. Yes, many men who look for a mistress make this big mistake – finding a partner among people who know your current partner. Firstly, it’s unreliable because other friends can learn about it and tell your wife/girlfriend. Secondly, your mistress herself can open up about it to your wife, and you will likely lose both women.
The second worst decision to find a side woman is social media. You may ask, “Why?” Social media are not like affair dating sites. First of all, your wife can learn about your mistress by simply checking your following and liking statistics. Secondly, affair dating sites ensure that people there understand that their online dates can have a partner. Women on social media are not often willing to date a married/taken man. Moreover, they can also find out you have a wife/girlfriend and tell her about it.
Signs a Woman Might Be Open to an Affair
A professional dominatrix should understand the signs the woman can give when she is all about causal flings, BDSM, and naughty fantasies. If you want to learn how to get a mistress, you should understand these signs at once and take action.
- She is always in a flirty mood. This is not always about sex but about touches, smiles, and exploring new boundaries in your communication.
- She talks about unhappy experiences with her ex-partner or husband. If your potential mistress keeps circling back to how bored or neglected she feels, she might be open to a little adventure.
- A woman is jealous, but shortly. She might show some confidence by demonstrating jealousy, but she doesn’t hold a grudge when you give a glance to most people.
- She stays in touch all day and night long. Late-night chats mean she is comfortable with you — and might want more. Most importantly, she doesn’t want to control you during these chats.
- Your lady doesn’t mind domination. She is ready for new experiences, even with new friends together without any obligations.
Common Challenges and How to Overcome Them
In learning how to have a mistress, you will need to learn about common challenges and how to overcome them. Here are details that may be useful for your experience.
- Your mistress may start searching for ways to stay closer to you. Some ladies don’t accept that they are just side women and want to be the most important in the lives of their partners. In this case, it is necessary to guess the hard limits of your relationship at the very beginning and not make any promises.
- She gets too jealous. She is envious when you spend time with your spouse and want to be involved in your life 100%. Your mistress wants to protect you and gets overly envious when you flirt with other women. To overcome this challenge, you will need to walk away before things get out of control. Sincere talks may help, but only if she responds and changes her behavior.
- She becomes reckless. At first, she might be all about secrecy, but over time, she could start slipping, texting at odd hours, liking your posts on social media services, neglecting your safe space, or even joining you during dinner with your friends. Make sure she understands that keeping things private is a must. If she can’t respect that, don’t waste your energy.
Exit Strategies: How to End It Cleanly
While finding a mistress may be an exciting experience, sometimes it is necessary to find the right strategy to end your affairs. Recording goodbye videos isn’t an option; you will need to apply a more elaborate approach. These tips may help.
- Choose a proper location. You probably don’t want drama in front of the street or at the restaurant. That is why it is advisable to opt for a silent place to tell your mistress that you are on different wavelengths.
- Create a distance gradually. Start pulling back before making the final cut. Connect less often, take longer to reply, and make plans less often. Let her feel the distance so when you finally end it, it won’t be a total shock.
- Say it directly without empty hopes. The worst thing to do is to give empty promises, for example: “Let’s try again in a month.” If you want to end it cleanly, be honest about your intentions. End it, mean it, and move on.
- Don’t be hypocritical. Avoid fooling or fibbing your mistress. Just tell her the truth and try to be calm and cold. Being overly dramatic won’t work for you.
How to Keep Your Mistress a Secret?
If you don’t want your wife/girlfriend to know you have a mistress, you need to know how to keep a mistress a secret. That’s why several golden rules can guarantee at least some sort of secrecy you will need:
- Check your phone. Make sure you clean your browser history and text chats that can have any evidence you are cheating. The best decision is even to have another phone (let’s say, “a work phone”)
- Check your look when you come home from her if you are physically close to your mistress. Do you have hickeys? Do you smell female perfume? Are your clothes wrinkled? You need to think about it in advance.
- Select a time when you and your mistress can communicate. For example, define it as a forbidden hour when you come home from work because your wife can suspect something when she notices constant message notifications on your phone.
- Make sure to not leave any financial traces. It means when you go with your mistress on a date, pay for dinner in cash. If your wife has access to your phone and sees that you paid for dining out, she may get suspicious you are cheating.
- The best way to get caught cheating is to overreact when your wife begins asking you about it. If you are too emotional, it will be clear to her that you are hiding something. That’s why you need to stay calm and pretend you don’t understand what she’s talking about.
- Make sure you don’t change your routine. Every change has a reason. If you change something in your daily routine, for example, start waking up earlier or paying more attention to your appearance, your wife may question it. Even if you change something, at least try not to show it to your wife. So think about how often you see your mistress.
Conclusion
Men who keep mistresses have their reasons for cheating. Sometimes, a marriage partner doesn’t meet the expectations, and a person can’t live with it. That’s why they seek comfort and pleasure in another person.
Modern mistress dating is quite easy as there are many resources to have it. But it also requires several precautions steps we described above to keep your side woman in secret. Use them to choose your mistress, and find peace and happiness.
FAQ
A mistress is a so-called side woman a man has while being officially in a relationship with another woman – a girlfriend or wife. Mistresses often are a secret, although in some cases, a partner can know and don’t mind their man having such a side girl.
What can a mistress do to a man? It’s easy: she makes him feel more valued and loved. Often, mistresses are like an escape from the sad reality of an unsuccessful marriage.
A mistress is also a human with feelings and deserves good treatment because you chose her, and she chose you. Take her on a date, and try to organize a weekend with her to make her feel valued, too, if you want to make her stay in your life.
The law doesn’t define cheating as something criminal, so you don’t have to worry about it. Religious beliefs such as Christianity do say that cheating is a sin, but if you don’t believe in it, then it doesn’t apply to you.